Today Jas and I ran in our neighborhood and we did a 20 minute work out of Shred! As I was walking down the stairs today it looked like I was in serious pain, probably because I was but with much encouragement from my lovely fiance, we both worked out!! I'm super proud of myself though I must admit I had serious bad attitude when we were running. He kept telling me, "Jen, you aren't breathing right, control your breathing!" Me, "I can't freaking BREAATTHHEE!!" (then I'd stop running and start just to show that I was really putting effort into it!) But he's totally good at calming me down and encouraging me. I kept saying I can't run because I'm fat.. and he'd say Jen your not fat and you can't run because you can't breathe. Anyways, I weighed myself yesterday and thankfully I did not gain any weight since the last time but I hadn't lost any either.
So, this morning i ate two eggs and two pieces of toast *not incredibly healthy* and then today I ate like a horse, nothing nutritious nor delicious... basically i got all my calories and then some by eating CANDY!!! blaahh.. can't believe i said that but it's the truth! and tonight I'm planning on eating soup which has about 100 calories and is very filling! I'm debating on whether I want to go on a just eat soup diet but I just don't think I could do it.
On a side note I was really down today because I really have not been this out of shape in a very long time but I had to remember my life is changing and I'm not a size 2 and 103 lbs anymore (that was definitely my sophomore year of HIGH SCHOOL..haven't seen that in many years) but I am trying to get there.
So, I weighed myself, like i said earlier.. and i weigh just about 10 pounds more than I'd like. I know some of you are thinking only 10 POUNDS? well yes, only 10 pounds but Ive ALWAYS been really concerned about how I looked and it really effects how i feel. It makes me bitter and very low self esteem.. so instead of feeling like that I'm going to do something about it.
Don't feel sorry for me by any means but I'll tell y'all a little about the way I USE TO BE.. when in high school I use to play sports, and work out after school and i had weight lifting as a class so i was ALWAYS working out. But that wasn't good enough.. yes i was really tiny but i wanted more.. i wanted to never feel hungry and never eat.. so i took diet pills.. and really didn't eat much at all. i was at the point where we'd go out to eat at outback and I'd order a kids meal and eat ONE chicken tender and be full... it was totally a mental game but I was indeed full.. and my goal is to never revert back to those days because they were NOT healthy and I would never want anyone to go through that feeling, i started getting really bad stomach pains and just was not healthy but i felt so good about myself.. so that is really pushing me to do the right thing and I'm really excited about it!
also-another side note: as i was telling you earlier jas and i shred'ed together today and it not only kicked my butt but TOTALLY kicked jason's too!! i made him pinky promise that he wasn't just making it seem like he was really in pain, and he did!
So here's to another super long post and my second day of living semi-healthy!! I will blog again Wednesday! Enjoy your week :)