30 weeks

Today we had our 30 week appointment. I'm happy to say I was able to leave with a little bit of peace of mind and some good news! If you know our story our little love was diagnosed with intrauterine growth restriction a few weeks ago although we knew from pretty early on. So today we went in to see if I was going to need to be put on bed rest. I was pretty sure that was going to be the verdict but I did everything in my power to stray  as far away from bed rest as I could. I ate like a cow and beefed up this little girl (and myself unfortunately)! She grew SO much in two short weeks and that makes this momma VERY happy! I gained 5 1/2 pounds and she is officially 2 lbs 14 oz. This is still considered IUGR as she is only in the 5th % for weight but this is HUGE in comparison to the 1 lb 6 oz she was last time!! Her entire body  (head, abdomen, legs and arms) all grew exceptionally well within two weeks which is a awesome. Originally, we suspected that her lack of growth was due to my lack of weight gain however we think we finally have an answer that makes sense. The blood flow from the placenta through her umbilical cord is decreasing which means she isn't getting all of the oxygen and nutrients she needs. I am SO happy to finally have an answer but this does mean weekly appointments for me until she arrives. I will go every week to see how she is tolerating being inside of me, every two weeks to check the flow through her umbilical cord, and every four weeks to check her growth until she is out of me! We are hoping to make it to 35 weeks however at any point these tests show she is not doing as well as she should be she will have to come out. So our July baby will be here in May/June! Yikes!!!

All of this is a lot of news to us but it's good news. It's a step forward and it's positive for the most part. We are still totally unprepared and do not have everything or even close to what we need for her to arrive but we will make it.

In the mean time here are some updates from the last few weeks:

-I tried venturing out and eating a hamburger (read back to note this has been an aversion the ENTIRE pregnancy) and it did NOT go so well. I'm with the cows that promote Chick-Fil-A.. eat more chicken!
-I'm having TERRIBLE leg cramps which I can not seem to get rid of.
- I've bought Lainey a TON of bows which means she will probably be bald for years to come.
-Jas graduates from college next week!
-Jas also got a temporary J-O-B! Now I can officially go get a pedicure :)
- Future update: Our two year wedding anniversary is coming up in May!!!
-My husband has been the most loving and caring individual the last few weeks. So supportive of all my needs and I am so so very thankful for him in my life.

That is all I can think of for now. Might be random but at least I remembered to update on Lainey!

time is limited

I feel defeated. The unknown is killing me. I have no idea what the remainder of this pregnancy looks like for us and it scares me. I'm worried because this is 'my' area of expertise, newborns/babies. I'm normally calm and collected and ready for the chaos but this, THIS is real. The realization that this pregnancy could be over at any minute and Lainey may be forced to face this world outside of me is not something I can handle. I selfishly want to keep her baking and growing inside of me longer. Next week we will find out if I'm holding up my end of the deal.. the baking and growing her part. It's scary to think that outside of me might be better for her if she isn't growing inside.

I'm a list maker and a go getter-pretty type A over the top organized. And the thought that at any appointment I may be forced to go into the hospital and have her is NOT comforting. I have no idea what to pack in a hospital bag for a preemie or for myself at that. Our house has no diapers/wipes, sheets, changing table, car seat. NOTHING for a baby. We have an empty room partially decorated waiting on our little girl's things to arrive. We have a few outfits (NONE that would fit a 3 lb..if that baby)...

I'm 29 weeks pregnant today and I have two pictures of my growing belly from weeks ago. I haven't taken a single bare belly picture for personal memory and I have no sweet pictures of my hubby kissing or talking to Lainey. I feel like any minute these opportunities could be taken from me and I'll never get them back. 

So today.. I realize time is limited and I gotta get this show on the road whether I like it or not. Time to put my big girl panties on and deal with it!