Christmas for me has always been wonderful! Though I must admit that I don't always remember that these are simply earthly gifts and that truly I have already recieved the best gift of all. That Jesus came to this unperfect earth as a human and died for me and ALL of my sins. Christmas day is all about Jesus and not about these earthly gifts I delight myself with. Just some food for thought.
Jason and I have been engaged less than a week and we are already faced with an up hill battle, BUT no suprise here. I have come to enjoy the challenges.. anyways let me regroup and get back to the uphill battle. Every Christmas we get together with our family. We eat and eat and eat some more.. then talk and hang out for a few more hours.. blah blah blah. Today is the first chance for some of my family to see the ring. They were all excited asking what our plans were and so on.. and then it came like a tidal wave from each and everyone one of them. I literally felt like I was getting tossed around for everyone to take a hit at. " You know it is impossible to get married while you are still in college. You won't be able to pay bills! You won't be able to have a house! How are you going to finish nursing school? How can you study, work, pay the bills, and be a wife?" And to the 15 people shouting their opinions at me, the only thing I could say was I have always been up for the challenge. [ ONE ] I felt like I wasted a perfectly good opportunity to show my faith to the many non-christians I was standing in front of. I could have said this is God's will for us, or God will provide.. something to show them that our faith is in Him and where we go from here is His will. [TWO] I just wanted to scream at the top of my lungs "really it's only been 5 days can't you just wait til we get a little closer to the wedding and then doubt everything that we can amount to be. [THREE] Jason's family is being very very supportive and it's hard to get our dreams shattered on one side and then go to his family and most of them be so encouraging.
So here the roller coaster rides begin! But I can say this.. my faith rests in the Lord and I know that we've gotten this far only because it is His will for our lives and not for one moment will I let anyone tell me any different. I believe that Jason and I will face struggles but there is a plan for everything and I know as long as we continue to rely on Him we will survive, even if we're just getting by.
Again, another mumble jumble blog but that's us!
Merry Christmas
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