hodge-podge

My life consists of nursing school/ nursing school work or studies and going to work. THAT'S IT!! The point i'm getting at is that, that is all I do and I'm stressed to the max. The past few days I've been thinking about how on earth I'm going to manage nursing school, working, and being a wife. Because, lately i've been a "kate gosselin." i've been a rude, bosy, stressed out, pessimistic person.. and it's just not me. I can honestly say that one thing I could say about myself previously was that I could find something good out of everything. But now everything looks terrible. I HATE IT!!

So my goal is to turn that around.. I'm going to find something (i'll start with one thing) positive about everything I experience each day. I'm going to love Jason as he deserves... well try atleast. I'm going to stay true to what I believe and try to live that out daily.. which i've failed in miserably. And last but not least I refuse to have one negative thought about marriage. Because this is our time. This is the right time for us and we know this. It's going to be hard and difficult but we're going to have each other.. so I might as well stop worrying about it and thinking negatively about it because that's how it's going to be. It's all taken care of... and I truly belive that.

Let me ask you if God wasn't in control of my life there is no way I would have met Jason. We live 25 miles apart. If he wasn't in control of my life.. who knows where I'd be today. If God wasn't in control.. how in the heck would I be passing nursing school?? Seriously?! If he wasn't in control how on earth would I have gotten a guy who treats me so well? It may sound like rubbish but He's got it.. and I've got to understand that because I surely haven't fully grasped all that yet. It's amazing. I couldn't tell you how many other experiences I've had that prove to me he's totally got it... but there's been dozens.

So basically how does all this relate? It kinda does.. kinda doesn't. I've got to drop all the bad attitude, worry wart, nervous nelly stuff and remember he's got it under control. This way I can be loving, OPTIMISTIC!!, and outrageously happy about this fantastic wedding that will take place on 5-28-2010!

Enjoy!
Jen