nursing school has made me into the woman i never wanted to be..

nursing school has made me into
0 someone who enjoys cleaning, simply for the fact that it means i'm not studying
o someone who doesn't know what it feels like to not be stressed
0 someone who begs for anti-stress meds on a 24 hours basis
o somoene who is ALWAYS a grouch and never a giver..
0 someone who thinks everything is about me because there is never any 'ME' time
o someone who LOVES going to work because babies make me happy *not a bad thing*
0 someone who has not been on a date in months
o someone who doesn't recognize the little things in life, though they mean the most!
0 someone who doesn't recognize the difficulties in other lives
o someone who is never and optimist and always a pessimist.
0 someone who has aged more in 3 years than should be possible! (imbalanced nutrition:more than body requirements related to the stress of nursing school as evidenced by increase weight gain)

I couldn't believe i'd let myself get to this point.. and as i thought about it today i realized i don't have to be that person. I want to be the Jen who cares, is a giver to all, is caring, passionate about life, always a positive thinker, loves to participate in things not because it means i'm not studying but because my loved ones deserve my time. I want to quit fighting and start giving others what they deserve so that in a year when I look back I don't have to say look at all the time i've wasted but look at how much i've learned and grown up and managed all the things in life and still cared for others and made a difference!

So, my goal this week.. is to enjoy EVERYTHING. i want to enjoy studying, enjoy the times i'm at home, enjoy the day i can enjoy a date with the most amazing guy who has been neglected for far too long, i'm going to check things off my wedding list and not get stressed over the tiniest things like trying on a rehersal dinner dress or looking at wedding cakes!! After all, only 160-something days left!!

on a side note-i promise i will post pictures soon! the video doens't work for me so ill post pics :) love y'all!