vows and other wedding stuff

Today, I am attempting to get started on writing my vows for our wedding. I don't know if the following will make me a bad fiance/wife-to-be but I am having a seriously difficult time doing this. We have been together 4 1/2 years and it seems like I've just become content with who Jason is.. like i've forgotten or pushed back out of my mind how amazing he is. I'm having such great difficulty putting into words how great he is. I can't seem to think of any characteristics that Jason displays or even any type of story that involves us. NOTHING. I'm blank as a sheet of paper at this moment.

Jason suggested I do these at the beach where I can feel as calm as a summer day but I'm scared to wait that long. I want to give him my best and that means I need to get started. I'm madly and deeply in love with him and I know him inside and out but why can't I put it into words?

So there. That's my frustration for the day... I've even put on sappy love songs but they just make me cry so I had to stop that. Oh well, I'll keep trying!

The wedding is something like 17 days away and I'm SOOOO excited. I LOVE my dress, LOVE my pictures, LOVE my venue and LOVE that it's getting closer and closer everyday. Things that I DON'T love.. there are still so many things to do, the ceremony planning is killing me because i've only been to a few weddings and only like 2 that i've truly paid attention, i have no rehearsal dinner dress, still haven't gotten things in the mail that are supposed to be here, and also I'm really leaving this wedding up to others and that SCARES me. I like to be in control and it just hasn't happened. I am praying so so hard that when I walk into my venue it's actually how I want it. If not, at least the cake will be good and i'll be married to my man!

toodles!