In a Rut

There are days that I just needed to blog because it makes me feel better... and today is one of those days.

I/We are in a rut as the real world has taken over and we have no time together. We spend 4 hours together one mondays, mostly all day saturday if neither of us have plans and then half of the day on sunday together. The weekdays in between we only see each other at like 1230 at night when I'm crawling into bed after getting off of work.

Many probably want to know why I work so late and why I can't just change my schedule but i don't want to. It works best for me and I can function better on an 11 to 11 work shift. I'm better at what I do and it's physically better on me.. but is it worth it at the cost of my marriage? Well no but it's better than working night shifts when I don't get to see my husband at night, so we just have to make it work.

These last 2 weeks have left me feeling very down and drained mentally, physically, and emotionally. Mentally I wish I would have enjoyed my honeymoon A LOT more since that has been the only time we've had together, physically I wish that I had more time to even do things for myself ( I work, go to school, clean the house, and sleep). Emotionally I wish I didn't feel so alone. I have more time in my day with my dog than I do my husband and it just isn't fair. Jason's busy with stuff to go out of town next week and I'm busy working and going to school so there just is no emotional rest or time to spend to mend all of these things.

You know.. When there is little time to even communicate it seems like the only other thing I'm doing it complaining.

I think i'll be excited for next week even though Jason will be out of town because I'll get some sleep (Jason takes up the ENTIRE bed so I get very little sleep), there will be a lot less laundry to do, I won't feel awful for working and going to school because he won't be home anyways, and maybe some time alone will help heal the rut.

I could seriously use some time with friends and family to take my mind off of this.. well really just some time with the husband would do.

That's all for now. I have a test in 3 hours and I must go study!

Adios.