So, Major fail on the diet/exercise i had going on for the few days it was successful. haven't eaten great nor have i exercised. in part i think it's due to the fact that i had to work the rest of the week and that other things happened that took my mind off of things.

i desire to be skinny yet it just doesn't seem to work out for me. when we started dating i weighed 103 lbs. what i'd give to see that again!

anyways, it's been a hard week. hopefully things will start to look up!

my laptop is broken so no pictures of the house... i know i'm totally a slacker. oh wells, thinking of having a house warming party soon with the fam! starting to plan wedding showers and things so i'm very excited!

I DID IT!!

Yes, with much oblige I worked out today, as for the eating part I can't brag. But it's not 6:07 to be exact and I think.. I might still be under my 1200-1400 calories/day!

Today Jas and I ran in our neighborhood and we did a 20 minute work out of Shred! As I was walking down the stairs today it looked like I was in serious pain, probably because I was but with much encouragement from my lovely fiance, we both worked out!! I'm super proud of myself though I must admit I had serious bad attitude when we were running. He kept telling me, "Jen, you aren't breathing right, control your breathing!" Me, "I can't freaking BREAATTHHEE!!" (then I'd stop running and start just to show that I was really putting effort into it!) But he's totally good at calming me down and encouraging me. I kept saying I can't run because I'm fat.. and he'd say Jen your not fat and you can't run because you can't breathe. Anyways, I weighed myself yesterday and thankfully I did not gain any weight since the last time but I hadn't lost any either.

So, this morning i ate two eggs and two pieces of toast *not incredibly healthy* and then today I ate like a horse, nothing nutritious nor delicious... basically i got all my calories and then some by eating CANDY!!! blaahh.. can't believe i said that but it's the truth! and tonight I'm planning on eating soup which has about 100 calories and is very filling! I'm debating on whether I want to go on a just eat soup diet but I just don't think I could do it.

On a side note I was really down today because I really have not been this out of shape in a very long time but I had to remember my life is changing and I'm not a size 2 and 103 lbs anymore (that was definitely my sophomore year of HIGH SCHOOL..haven't seen that in many years) but I am trying to get there.

So, I weighed myself, like i said earlier.. and i weigh just about 10 pounds more than I'd like. I know some of you are thinking only 10 POUNDS? well yes, only 10 pounds but Ive ALWAYS been really concerned about how I looked and it really effects how i feel. It makes me bitter and very low self esteem.. so instead of feeling like that I'm going to do something about it.

Don't feel sorry for me by any means but I'll tell y'all a little about the way I USE TO BE.. when in high school I use to play sports, and work out after school and i had weight lifting as a class so i was ALWAYS working out. But that wasn't good enough.. yes i was really tiny but i wanted more.. i wanted to never feel hungry and never eat.. so i took diet pills.. and really didn't eat much at all. i was at the point where we'd go out to eat at outback and I'd order a kids meal and eat ONE chicken tender and be full... it was totally a mental game but I was indeed full.. and my goal is to never revert back to those days because they were NOT healthy and I would never want anyone to go through that feeling, i started getting really bad stomach pains and just was not healthy but i felt so good about myself.. so that is really pushing me to do the right thing and I'm really excited about it!

also-another side note: as i was telling you earlier jas and i shred'ed together today and it not only kicked my butt but TOTALLY kicked jason's too!! i made him pinky promise that he wasn't just making it seem like he was really in pain, and he did!

So here's to another super long post and my second day of living semi-healthy!! I will blog again Wednesday! Enjoy your week :)

blogging in my sadness..

Why am I sad you ask? Well today I am starting something new... it's called working out and eating right! And lets just say I'm not in as good of shape as I thought I was.. sad day!

But then I got to thinking about how I can use this blog to help me get through every dreaded work outs and the times where i really do not want to eat healthy.. like for example I thought I needed a boost this morning so I ate a rice crispy treat.. BAD idea!

So I have a plan and I need help. So dear friends, even those that don't have a blog but I know are faithful readers of my ordinary boring life.. I'm inviting you to take this journey with me!!

Everyone Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday I will be working out. I'm doing the 30 day shred which in comparison to p90x looks super easy, but it's kicking my butt! I can't even lie.. today I tried to do the beginners level and couldn't even do all of the exercises to the fullest. SAD SAD SAD!! I use to have a 19% BMI, in high school when i was active and worked out every day but now.. now i'm 21% and that my friends is close to being over weight. i mean seriously, i'm getting married in 4 months and i'm so young. young enough to make this change in my life while i'm still mobile and agile! and then I thought of the dreaded idea which really is encouraging me to do right... in 5 or more years we'll be trying for kids and then what will my body do?? yikes was exactly what went through my mind.

So Monday-Sunday I will be counting calories and M, W, Sat. I'll be working out. If you wonder why I'm choosing those days, it's because those are the only days I'm home before 1130 at night.

I'm going to blog about what i'm eating, how the workouts are going, and if i'm seeing any progress.

Please, don't be offended.. I'm trying to be real life and real me but I want to lose 10 pounds before May 28th and on smaller people 10 pounds is the hardest so I really am going to need encouragement.

I'll be trying to limit my calories to 400/meal if not lower than that, and I'm only drinking water (or atleast i'm trying.. a few sips of coke every now and then.. but i'm trying not to.)

I should have really weighed myself prior to working out, AND EATING MY RICE CRISPY TREAT, but i didn't so i'm off to weigh myself now. And i'm hoping and PRAYING that the scale says I'm smaller than I think because other wise that means I need to lose more weight.. blaaahh..

So I'll be blogging tomorrow about my first day to a healthier better life and body!

my life is average

What we've been up to?

Well tonight we settled in at home after a day of looking at clothes for the guys for wedding day. Jas made mozzarella sticks for dinner and they were delicious! I praise him for being the cook in the family.. I'll season anything and everything but without him nothing would get cooked. We played some games while watching TV and just talked a little. Wedding day is fast approaching, really quite faster than I'd really imagined. I guess with school, working part time during school and full time on breaks there doesn't leave much time for anything else. I had to miss out on a lot of Holiday celebration because I worked on Christmas eve, Christmas day, New years eve and New Years Day. The money is nice but it's just not the same spending holidays with the babies as it is with the family. Don't get me wrong I LOVE my job and it is 100% the greatest opportunity.. I get to love on newborn babies all day (bathe them, feed them, snuggle them... soooo AMAZING) but I missed my family. Since, Jas and I started dating I've never celebrated Thanksgiving nor Christmas with his family but he's made efforts to visit with my family so I'm looking forward to mixing our traditions and holidays with each other next year! I really am marrying the greatest man for me! I looked at Jas today and I said after all these years and I still love you.. not any less but MORE! Seems so crazy love can grow so much and I know in years to come we'll look at each other and say man, i thought i love you then.. because the journey of life will change our love, never for the worse but always building us up and making us stronger and love each other more. I wish I would have blogged more about the things that have taken place in the last year since i've been blogging but I haven't been so consistent. I look forward to blogging more about the changes and the progress of our wedding so that we can look back on our lives.

Wedding Updates:
=ordered caterer
=wedding dress delivered
=waiting on BM dresses to finish
=made card box
=working on BM gifts
=flower girl buckets in progress
=working on flowers and decorations
=decided on favors, ordering those very very SOON!
=invitations DONE!, waiting to print :) LOVE THEM. seriously!

Happy 2010 y'all!
Enjoy <3

taking a break..

Hey Y'all!

I'm blogging today just to 'blog it out' i guess you could say! We're on Christmas break and I am SO happy! It feels so amazing to know that we've completed another semester of school and in 3 semesters i'll have RN(registered nurse) behind my name! We're officially 160 days away from our wedding day and there is so much to be done! At lunch this afternoon my family and I were talking about the wedding and I was saying how much time we don't seem to have and my aunt brought to my attention that we started with a lot of time to plan a wedding.. infact it was something like 530 days or something! Wow I just realized in 2 days it'll be a year since we got engaged!!! So we had 17 months to plan this wedding and we've pushed it to the max! So now it's really time to put my words into actions and get this show on the road! We're going to register next week! I'll be sure to post pictures.. i'm sure that will be interesting! and we are finalizing our guest list which is going to be terribly hard! We've seperated the guest list into 3 catagories.. those that MUST be invited, those that SHOULD be invited, and those that COULD be invited.. it's harder for Jason to cut people than it is for me but I still don't like the feeling of putting people on our COULD BE list.

My wedding dress is in and i'm soooo excited to see it altered even though it fit to a T before I'm hoping to see some extra fabric (aka: meaning i've lost weight! paha.. a girl can dream right?!) The girls BM dresses have been on back order because of fabric so i'm really ready to see them. We're going to get the guys ties and clothes in 2 weeks, we've got to book the food, print invites, get our address book in order so sending out invites isn't utter chaos! we're literally doing wedding stuff every week! We're going to look for fabric to cover my flower girl buckets! I'm feeling so crafty!

I feel like my blog is getting more boring to those that aren't involved in the wedding craziness so i'm going to add a picture of some friends and I from the festival of lights! Enjoy :)

Sorry it's so small!! I'm on the far right !

With Love from the South :)

nursing school has made me into the woman i never wanted to be..

nursing school has made me into
0 someone who enjoys cleaning, simply for the fact that it means i'm not studying
o someone who doesn't know what it feels like to not be stressed
0 someone who begs for anti-stress meds on a 24 hours basis
o somoene who is ALWAYS a grouch and never a giver..
0 someone who thinks everything is about me because there is never any 'ME' time
o someone who LOVES going to work because babies make me happy *not a bad thing*
0 someone who has not been on a date in months
o someone who doesn't recognize the little things in life, though they mean the most!
0 someone who doesn't recognize the difficulties in other lives
o someone who is never and optimist and always a pessimist.
0 someone who has aged more in 3 years than should be possible! (imbalanced nutrition:more than body requirements related to the stress of nursing school as evidenced by increase weight gain)

I couldn't believe i'd let myself get to this point.. and as i thought about it today i realized i don't have to be that person. I want to be the Jen who cares, is a giver to all, is caring, passionate about life, always a positive thinker, loves to participate in things not because it means i'm not studying but because my loved ones deserve my time. I want to quit fighting and start giving others what they deserve so that in a year when I look back I don't have to say look at all the time i've wasted but look at how much i've learned and grown up and managed all the things in life and still cared for others and made a difference!

So, my goal this week.. is to enjoy EVERYTHING. i want to enjoy studying, enjoy the times i'm at home, enjoy the day i can enjoy a date with the most amazing guy who has been neglected for far too long, i'm going to check things off my wedding list and not get stressed over the tiniest things like trying on a rehersal dinner dress or looking at wedding cakes!! After all, only 160-something days left!!

on a side note-i promise i will post pictures soon! the video doens't work for me so ill post pics :) love y'all!

New things to come SOON

196 days away from being a wife, 2 weeks away from my 21st bday, a few weeks away from another semester of school being over, 2+ months away from our 1 year anniversary of engagement, T-minus 5 days away from being home owners (hopefully!)... so many things are going on!!! I'm pretty excited that our house will be finished because we've totally made the house the focus and haven't done a thing for the wedding.. HA! i look back at all the posts and that seems to be a common finding.. no wedding planning done! oh well, it is what it is.

family-the next post will be a tour of our house! but you'll have to wait patiently so that we can get it prettied up first!

Things I'm looking forward to this November

-time off of school AND WORK!!! woohoo :)
- family coming
-visiting our wedding venue with my fam
-my birthday... I LOVE BIRTHDAYS!!
-thanksgiving day parade
-closing on our house
-decorationg OUR way
-learning how to use coupons
-Clemson vs. Carolina game on the 28th
-going garage selling
-booking hair, nail, and make up appointments for the BIG day!!!


In December the girls are getting there BM dresses in and in January my dress is coming! We've booked our cake vendor and our rehersal dinner location! Things are turning around yet there is so much to be done. I've got to figure out flowers soon and get on top of the decorations!! One of my very talented childhood friends will be designing our invitations and i'm SO excited how they are turning out so far!

We'll keep you posted! Have a great week!